Wednesday, June 2, 2010

More school drama

Ok, the only pre schools I can find for H seem to cost more than my college tuition. I am not joking. FOR PRE SCHOOL? WTF? YOU COLOR AND GLUE AND SHIT, WHY IS IT $16K?!?

So at any rate, I am back to the homeschooling thing. This means I'd be doing my online college classes, and doing pre-k with Helena with the Calvert curriculum - in case you want to check it out. I'd also have to work part time, because ummmm we like to do things like eat and live indoors.

As a bipolar parent, this is a difficult decision. What if I get "sick" and can't be an effective teacher? Granted it's pre-school, but still, I highly value education. What will happen to my future employment prospects if I spend a year teaching my daughter pre-school? One of the good things would be that without a full time job I'd be able to transfer to a school for histology or pathology (I really want to do infectious disease/epidemiology), and teach H around my classes - but who wants to hire someone with such a spotty work history? Being bipolar creates a ...."colorful" enough resume without "took a year off to do crafts and stuff with my 4 year old."

I just don't know. I just don't know, and there are so many decisions and there is nothing definitely RIGHT and definitely WRONG so I just have no idea what to do. So I am floundering.

It's really important to me that my babies have the best in everything, no matter how hard I need to work for it, but $16K preschool is just.....I can't. There aren't enough hours in a day for me to work even if I worked non stop for me to pay that type of tuition. I would love to home school. I'd LOVE that bonding time - but would I screw over my future earning potential and therefore hurt my family more than help us?

I am just a huge ball of anxiety.

I pray for peace.


  1. Preschool is optional, not mandatory. I'm not a big homeschooling person in general, but I think it actually makes more sense for preschool than for most other types of school.

    As you know (because you have an older kid), there is really no magical "thing" kids "learn" in preschool; it's mostly about (a) literacy/math "readiness" and (b) social/behavioral coping. So kids don't freak out when Mom leaves on the first day of kindergarten. The academic readiness is important, but the homeschooling curriculum should be more than adequate (and watching the occasional "Sesame Street" and "Super Why" can't hurt either - those make reading/math readiness fun.

    There are a lot of expensive preschools around where I live, and I don't use them b/c I need daycare hours. An intensive academic preschool curriculum _can_ give some kids a temporary advantage on entering kindergarten, but it can also turn many kids _off_ from school/learning, because so much emphasis is placed on rote memorization and drills. Many kids who aren't really ready for this could decide that school is unpleasant and boring.

  2. Hey Sandi, Kadie again!

    Hang in there, things have a way of working themselves out. I obsess over EVERYTHING, and then stuff falls into place and Im like WTF WHY DID I WORRY SO MUCH. Sometimes if I wonder that if I didnt worry so much and obsess over ways to fix it, would it work out, though?

    $16k for preschool is fucking ridic, Idc who you are. Like you said "YOU COLOUR AND GLUE SHIT!!!" lol.

    If only you could get paid for your blogging. Your writing is captivating and humourous. I feel bad saying that because this is your life, and its not funny, but the way you write is awesome. Keep it coming.

    *hugs* and lots of love. Hang in there.