Monday, May 24, 2010

School days, school days....

K is all set up and registered fro her first year of Kindergarten at the charter school I was crossing my fingers she'd get into, so I should be happy, right?

Of course not.

See, the cool think about this school is that it isn't a district school - you can live anywhere in the state and attend with priority given to siblings. This means I can get H in easily for Kindergarten next year/whenever she starts since she misses the cut off, but I'd also be able to get step kid enrolled, too.

My stepchild's mother has all the charm of a warthog, but whatever. I figured if I can get her kid into an excellent school *free*, and provide transportation both ways and am even willing to do homework and dinner with her so she can spend more time with her father and her stepsisters, what's not to love, right? If it were me I would have been like O HELL YEAH - HOW MUCH GAS MONEY DO YOU WANT?!

Naturally this has turned into me being untrustworthy driving alone in a car with her child (because I'm going to take her off in the woods or something WITH MY KIDS IN THE CAR TOO? ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL? WHAT?)

I really try to be the adult and do good for the kids, but my patience is beyond worn thin with this nonsense.

AM I wrong? Even if she hated the idea, a simple "Thank you for thinking about my child" would have been nice....

Educating three children is killing me lately. My two girls will be in the Charter school until 8th grade, at which point I have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. I have always wanted them to go to prep schools, but I am looking at around $30K/kid per year and there just isn't that kind of money no matter WHAT I do. Naturally I'd want my step kid to get all the benefits my two get, so we are now up to $90/k for school per year and I'm dizzy and it's impossible. I know I have time to worry, but the awesome thing about panic disorders is that it just means I will worry THANT MUCH LONGER.

It's really depressing to know that at this point no matter what I do, I'll never be able to give my kids "the best". I'm a mentally ill uneducated/college student mother, working a mediocre job that makes em want to eat a bullet, and I can't even afford pre-school for my youngest daughter. Private school? Yeah right... I'm so embarrassed to be a mother sometimes because I feel like I've got nothing to offer them.

My step-daughter's mother fighting just for teh sake of argument helps nothing, naturally, but I still include her child in SHIT I CANNOT AFFORD!!!!!!

I just realized I need to take TWO girls back-to-school shopping this summer. I've also been out of work due to a severe illness that landed me in the hospital so half my paycheck will be gone and YAY! My fiance is still unemployed.

God help me.

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